Pudgeysaurus Chomper Sex

i don't mind you coming here and wasting all my time
coz when your standing oh so near i kinda loose my mind

i don't mind you hanging out and talking in your sleep
doesn't matter where you've been as long as it was deep

i don't mind you hanging out and talking in your sleep
i guess you're just what i needed

you're just what i needed.
______________________________________________________________________

i'm so happy and oh so sad.

i've made a decision and i'm feeling rather free.

listening to black sabbath and my sister tap dancing.

i'm making a concious decision not to think anymore.

2004 has to have been one of the most eventful and beautiful years of my life.

This year I'm going to catch the moon in my pocket, just wait and see.
Besos!

i finished my first semester of college....

bizarre.

honestly i don't know how.

but i'm happy :)

me and my roommate are lame, our mini fridge is chock full stocked with Red Stripe, just beer and water. Yet niether of us are avid enough drinkers to get through the 12 bottles. So we have to schedule times in our planners in order to finish them by semesters end when they have systematic room checks to make sure that little girls like us aint drinkn no beer.

ive got my feet up and a cold beer in my hand. just got off work and the looong weekend has officially begun. havent been this excited for time off school in a while. dontcha just love life?

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

She may be lost
She may be out of bounds
All her tenderness and charms could be something
A man like me has never found
But in her woman's way
She's still a little girl
The things that she wants, the things that she needs
Oh well the choice is hers

`Cause you can't take a woman
When she doesn't want you
And you can't be a man
If you're blind to reason
Man might be strong
But true love is stronger
You gotta play it straight
When a woman doesn't want you

Her voice invites
Her eyes say more than words
But her needs and complications
Can tear away the memory of last night's girl
And if you're weak
Yeah we're all weak sometime
The best things can wait
The best times they come
Oh when strength is kind

And if you can't read her
Leave her alone
And if you don't know by now
She's not someone's prize
And you can't take her home

im writing from college, which is really great. my roomate is awsome, edwin is just a few doors down, my hallmates are wonderful. we eat together, work out together, study together. its a nice dynamic. a little family. my classes are Intro to Sociology, Intro to Biology, Environmental Toxicology, and Transatlantic Black/Asian Films which is a soc and english class. So far it's quite intense as far as the reading load and what not, but I'm getting organized. I've taken up a study warrior mind set, just trying to balance it all out. I miss my mum and sister, but they're coming to see me today. The dorms are starting to feel like home. It's scary, very scary. New life changes and the like, its seems so overwhelming. I'll write more later I guess, but I feel too emotional to try and write in this thing at the moment. Hope all is well with y'all. Take Care.
toodles,
Sara

I can go anywhere, take a look its in a book...a reading rainbow... :)

its strange, it feels like i was frozen when i was a kid and now im suddenly melted out and i have to be an adult.

i went to the beach to see Jackie and lil' Ro. Jance and Josh were there, Edwin, X-tina, John and I drove down at 12-30 in the AM. Walking along the ocean at 1 am is the best feeling in the world. I felt so sublime. i love the ocean, i absolutely love the ocean.

i'm sick now, more than i was b4. probably from smoking fags (british for cigs, don't get scared) when i was already sick. i came home today from dropping of my loan apps for Pitzer with a fever. I'm feeling a bit better now after sleeping and taking meds, but I want to be 100 percent better for the big day, THuRSDAy.
i have to pack up my bathroom now. Ai kidah this is so bizarre.

i want to believe that im slick enough, incompetent enough, traumatized enough to really think that love doesn't exist, and if i does it's not for me, for i'm completely incapable of it, completely at my own will. and if you are lucky enough to see my when i slip, and you see me going nuts over a member of the male species, you know how rediculous i am and how much of a fucking liar i am. truth is i cant escape the notions that plague our society, that love will and can conquer all. coz when i comes down to it, love is just a few wires in your noggin releasing shitloads of chemicals into your body and there is scientific reasons for everything, down to the fluttering of butterfly wings in your belly. the logic of it is, that its gruesomely hard to be monogamous, because you're fighting against all your natural inclinations, its unnatural to be with one person and if you do manage it its by the strength of your will power at the end of the day. your blood sweat and tears has to go into making the damn thing work...i mean if it was so ingrained in our systems and so fucking vital to our existance it wouldn't be. its an un necessary luxury...and one that i unconciously and secretly (i seriously fool myself) fiend for. ill experiment with it, ill feel it, ill leave all my inhibitions and fears at the door for you, ill get over my issues and my shit and hang ups...but all the while remaining ever so half assedly skeptical. of a persons intentions...the disbelief that anyone would love me that much...of the circumstances surrounding a moment.

ive just been chatting with Cathy about all of this till 5-33 in the am...and telling her about all my bad experiences and my skepticism about love, and my support for practicality logic focus drive and brain over heart and at the end of it im calling Eser coz its 2 pm his time and smiling till my cheeks hurt and swooning inside. so this entry is a disclaimer to all my friends, who know me well enough to already know this - im completely ridiculous and don't listen to a word i say! im like my own ying and my own yang, i argue and counter argue with myself over and over again and i convince and un-convince myself with such a ferver and a strength...and good arguements for both teams that ... Hey Kidah...I'm just a messy little school girl with her books and her heart on her sleeve and big fat smile on her face and a passion for living. really thats all, at the end of the day.

today is my last day in England, thank goodness. I'm not ready to go home, but I'm ready to leave this place. I could live out of a suitcase for the rest of my life, and I plan to. Who wants to go to Lebanon with me next year?

My grandmother is the sweetest woman, but she worries about everything under the sun and the moon. She doesn't want me to go the cinema on my own, and worries i'll fall down the stairs trying to find the bathroom if im sleepy...I love her to bits, but I can't take it anymore. I don't particularly miss home, though I miss the people. It's strange. It's really strange that I'm actually leaving to go home tomorrow, since I've been gone for what feels like a lifetime. I need to be in Turkey, its the only thing that feels natural! Sorta.

I've been chilling with my nephew, he's almost a year old. He's a cool cat, wiggles around a lot. He has the biggest eyes I've ever seen, and they look even bigger because his face and body are so small.

England would be wonderful if everything wasnt such CRAP!!! AI KIDAH.

okay so I'm missing TUrkey.

England is too expensive but my family is here so ill put up with it.

I miss Turkey.

But its raining and thundering and lightning in August so how much can I really complain :)

I miss you all. Be home in a little more than a week now. Its weird to think about going home after being away for so long.

today ıs my last day ın turkey and the very words brıng tears to my eyes. ı cant even begın to express how amazıng these past two weeks have been for me. really ıf ı type anymore ı thınk ı wıll have to make a mad dash for my hostel across the street and cry my lıttle eyes out. ıve made so many frıends here...but at the same tıme ım two weeks closer to my famıly and frıends back home and one day closer to my famıly ın the UK. ı mıss you Edwın, ı tell everyone here about how lovely you are and how ı mıss you so. Do take care all my so.cal daahlıngs. Everytıme ı go out ı especıally mıss you all, ı know youd love the scene hookahıng to the cıty lıghts of ıstanbul underneath full moons over lookıng the marmara sea...

AI KADAH... how wıll ı manage tomorrow?

hello all. just wanted to say that i check my friends LJ over here to see what you all are up to. having a lovely time. tonight im leaving for capadoccia. i logged on after sending my mum long ass emails so im in no mood for typing at the mo. thanks for comments on my last post. hope u r all behaving! love you lots, Sara

the clubs here are awesome!!! :)

ım here

ıt ıs so absolutely beautıful. we arrıved last nıght around mıdnıght. ım wrıtıng from an ınternet cafe across the street from the hostel. the people are really frıendly. ım about to venture out to the grand bazaar. we ate breakfast on the roof and we could see the sea. ı strolled alongsıde the blue mosque. ım off to get my adventure on. love you all!

I read somewhere that there is no letter I on turkish keyboards so i might not be able to access livejournal or my hotmail email account...
so this might be empty for a couple of weeks till i reach jolly ole england.

however, i just opened an email account that includes no I's in it, so if you want to email me its

turkeypotpy@yahoo.com

:)

cheerio all. have a great summer.

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